Tuesday, November 25

Dear Tech Support

Dear Tech Support - Cloudeight Internet
Husband Operating System

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Hockey, Football, Golf and HBO/Game of Thrones. Conversation no longer runs, and any endeavour to upload Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: ‘http: I Thought You Loved Me.html’ and try to download Tears; do not forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewelry and Flowers, but remember – over-use of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garage or Beer. Beer is a particularly bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a destructive virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.
In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory, is somewhat erratic, and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider installing additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Steak, Pulled Pork and Hot Lingerie.
Good Luck, Tech Support

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